If I was ever looking for a topic to write about, it was found without any challenge tonight.
Today I finally let the tears flow when they appeared.
I let the tears flow that had been bubbling at the surface for the last week. The kind of tears that don’t stop when I say out loud and wholeheartedly admit to myself, ‘I have cancer.
I, Ashley Nicole Beckham (Johnson), have breast cancer!’
I was not just diagnosed with breast cancer today. I was diagnosed nearly 16 days ago.
September 7th to be exact!
I had nearly three and a half weeks of abnormal test after an abnormal test to prepare for what my gut knew was coming.
But when those words “I’m sorry and shocked to say, but you have cancer” arrive, what happens after that? What do the following moments look like?
For me, it was the sigh of relief in finally knowing because I believe that Knowledge is power!
It was an apology, with a single tear, to my newlywed husband for what he was about to experience with me. It followed with my husband standing in the living room, hugging me saying “Can we just stop and have a few minutes together before we start making the phone calls?”
It was a reactionary conversation trying to decide if it was worth it to move forward with our already delayed wedding that was to come in October.
It was a tear-filled discussion about future children and family planning amidst a breast cancer diagnosis.
It was a calm phone call to my Nurse Practitioner, who is the one who saved my life by re-encouraging me to start self-breast exams after her recent breast cancer diagnosis.
It was a moment that while getting facts about what was next from my NP, I watched my husband wiping tears from his face while petting our dog outside.
It was the moment when I looked at my husband and said “The I See You Company will NOT fail because I have breast cancer.”
But what happens after you get the call that you have cancer?
Life goes on. Emotions are delayed. Thoughts are confusing.
Questions are mounting. But at the end of the day, an instant perspective into life is given.
The choice of positivity and walk in faith is immediately present.
And those were the choices I actively made. I knew from watching my mother’s cancer fight I had to choose positivity, humor, and faith.
So that’s what I’m choosing every day, as I determine and execute my treatment plan.
I’ve always believed you never truly know what someone is going through, but couldn’t believe that applies to me at this moment in time more than ever.
Me! Me, the 34-year-old, newlywed.
The young woman launching a national product and brand with her sister. But you know what that made me think? It really is true.......cancer doesn’t discriminate!
I have nothing to be angry about. I am NOT a victim. I am NOT cancer.
I am a daughter, a friend, a wife, a cousin, a zia, a daughter-in-law, a volunteer, a CEO and I will soon be a breast cancer survivor!
To those of you who are breast cancer survivors, I See You!
To those of you who are currently battling breast cancer, I See You. To those of you who have lost someone to breast cancer, I honor you and your loved one!
We are NOT our diagnosis. We are fighters! We are trailblazers!
And though this bumpy and challenging road is becoming more frequently traveled by women of all ages, it is your story that deserves to be told with YOUR voice!
EVERY breast cancer story is deserving to be recognized and celebrated! And if I have anything to say about it, we’ll celebrate each triumph and step to fighting breast cancer WITH A WISH!
We say that Wishes Aren’t Just for Birthdays and I’ve never believed it as much as I do right now!
My family and I could really use a few wishes ourselves!
So, don’t think we aren’t lighting our I See You® Candles to make a wish every time one of us could use a pick me up! Oh, yes, that’s right – we are!
For the fighter in your life, for the person who deserves a celebration, recognition or simply a wish - get an I See You® Candle (shipping is free!).
